Alexander Grace Reacts - Things Are Even WORSE in China

Transcript

0:00 · China is not feminist like the West is, but the women there are just as entitled and just as unrealistic in their dating expectations. But if it's not feminism that's causing this, what is? Let's find out.

0:13 · months ago, Shanghai held a rather special matchmaking event with an interesting rule. Every woman had to pay 600 yuan, while men could attend for free. The women expected a flood of male participants, but to everyone's surprise, nearly a thousand women showed up, while fewer than 50 men participated. A matchmaking event in Hangzhou invited a thousand people.

0:34 · Hundreds of women showed up, but only a handful of men came. The scene was very awkward. Some men left early when they saw how few men there were. In early December last year, a matchmaking event was held in a five-star hotel in Wuhan.

0:46 · About 800 well-dressed women attended, but not a single man showed up. Men could enter for free, but women had to pay 3,800 yuan each. In total, the women spent over 300,000 yuan, but no men came. It was a matchmaking event with no matches.

1:01 · You want to know what makes this worse?

1:03 · China has 106 million single women and 159 million single men. There is a massive surplus of single guys in China, and they're still not turning up. Let's find out why.

1:16 · Women often want men to have a house, a car, and a bride price. If a man doesn't have those, why go matchmaking? It would only embarrass him.

1:24 · That sounds familiar, doesn't it? The high-quality guys in China, they don't need to go to matchmaking events.

1:29 · They've got wealth and status. They've got Chinese women throwing themselves at them. But these regular guys, they are familiar with how unrealistic these women's expectations are, and so they think, "Why bother?" It's just a humiliation ritual to go to some singles event and have every woman say that she wants a six-foot CEO who's a property owner. What's the point? It's a waste of time. I'd rather stay home. Check out this exchange where this guy calls out this woman for her delusional standards.

1:55 · So, why do you think I would be interested in you?

1:57 · What kind of person are you looking for?

1:59 · I want someone at least 175 cm tall with a bachelor's degree or higher, a house, a car, and a stable job.

2:06 · How old are you?

2:07 · 38.

2:08 · You're 38? Giving your conditions, do you think men would choose you? Think about it.

2:13 · Why wouldn't they choose me?

2:14 · Listen everyone, height of 175 cm, has a house and a car, bachelor's degree or higher, why would they choose a 38-year-old over 25-year-old? Why pick you?

2:24 · If I have any audience members who are Chinese, can you please tell me, is it common in your culture for men to speak to women like that? Like be that blunt?

2:33 · Because that's not common in the West.

2:35 · But this is the other piece of the puzzle as to why men aren't turning up to these dating events. It's cuz the women are old. At 38, assuming that you fall in love and you get married instantly, you can have maximum one child. And at that age, you're a geriatric mother, which means there's risks to the child in the childbirth and the pregnancy. But just like in the West, these women seem completely baffled why that should be an issue. Her age. I'm 38 years old. Why does that matter? It matters. Men are looking for women who are pretty, feminine, and young with lots of years of fertility ahead of them.

3:05 · That really should be obvious. It's kind of the base programming of how biology. But women everywhere, they seem to be at war with reality. They just refuse to accept it.

3:16 · The city is overflowing with beautiful, mature, single women. These women are all in their 30s with stylish, refined looks and an annual income of over 200,000 yuan. There are many older women who are high quality. They have good education, stable jobs, and decent looks. But because of their age, even if they lower their standards, it's still hard for them to find a partner.

3:36 · It is an oxymoron to say that a single older woman is high quality. The mere fact that she is an older woman means that she's not a quality choice. What makes a woman high quality in her youth is her potential to be a good mother and a kind wife. And if a woman to retain that value into old age, she needs to actualize that potential.

3:59 · I never thought I wouldn't get married, but the truth is I'm already 42 and I really can't find a husband. I didn't expect it to be this hard at 42, but the reality is my social circle at my age make it really difficult. I also didn't expect that men don't want to date older single women.

4:19 · Today I looked at some data. Shanghai has about 15 million locals, not including non-locals who have settled here. 6.8 million of them are men. Among men aged 28 to 35, there are roughly 950,000, of which 500,000 are unmarried. And since we have certain criteria when choosing a partner, if you consider only those taller than 1.78 m, there are just 80,000. For men with a bachelor's degree or higher, only 40,000.

4:45 · What's even scarier is that if you require a man to earn over 400,000 a year, there's only about a 1% chance. That's roughly 400 men.

4:56 · Isn't it fascinating? Even though China is not a feminist society, their women have succumbed to the exact same delusional standards that women in the West have. The math ain't mathing. But what that means is that the problem is deeper than feminism, right? Like feminism as an ideology might be a permission slip that gives women the moral permission and the language to express their entitlement, but the issue is innate to women. That's why it's cross-cultural. The problem is hypergamy.

5:26 · And it didn't used to be a problem in hunter-gatherer times, when women only wanted to date men who were in a superior position to them, that was fine. It was necessary. It was beneficial for human evolution. But in the modern context, where women are earning the same amount of money as men, the fact that their instinct for hypergamy doesn't change or adapt is a massive problem. If a man makes a huge salary, he thinks, "Great. Now I can find myself a wife, and my big income can support both of us." That is a great instinct for keeping the species going.

5:59 · If a woman makes a huge salary, she thinks, "Okay, now I'm entitled to a man with an even bigger salary." So, you see, the problem is structural. The more women's wages rise, the smaller the pool of acceptable men she has to choose from. When I say that these women's standards and expectations are delusional, that's not me making a moral judgment. It's just a fact of reality.

6:25 · You can't have standards that high. It won't work. You'll just end up single.

6:30 · It doesn't matter that your income is really high as a woman. Men don't give a So, you raising your standards for what man you think you're entitled to is just not in touch with anything grounded in reality. It's like you've never met a man before or spent any time thinking about what it's like from his point of view. And so, the results are entirely predictable. Society's going to end up with this huge demographic of older, single, childless women who kept holding out for a man that was richer than they are who never came. That was entirely predictable, and there's another issue.

7:05 · Why are there more and more older single women in first-tier cities? It's simple.

7:10 · When you work in a luxury store for a long time, you start to feel like you're a luxury item yourself or that the luxury goods in the store should be yours. In other words, when you see so much, your standards naturally rise, and you believe it's only natural for you to have those things. Many girls who have lived in these cities for over 5 years feel like they belong there. No matter if their bank account balance is zero or even negative, that mindset remains unchanged. She explained further, "Men are different. When they look at their salaries and the high cost of housing, they just shake their heads and go back to their hometowns.

7:41 · If you check the most remote areas, you'll see there are plenty of single men. Out of the nation's 30 million singles, most of these are in less developed regions.

7:50 · You know, this could be the beginning of a very dystopian social order where the men all live in the rural regions doing the farming and all the manual labor, while the women exist in these luxury cities protected from the harsh realities of existence. But, for this to come about, it doesn't need to be some kind of authoritarian order. It's just how things are naturally sorting themselves out to be, which makes it worse.

8:18 · Women, on the other hand, don't face the pressure of buying houses, cars, or paying dowries. Their biggest expense are cosmetics and handbags, which, compared to first-tier city property prices, are just pocket money. That's why they stubbornly hold their ground. And what weapon do they rely on? Their gradually fading looks.

8:36 · Many older single women spend all their money on beauty treatments and cosmetic surgeries, hoping that one day they'll find a rich husband. When asked to lower their standards, they refuse because, in their eyes, lowering themselves is like doing charity.

8:50 · For a country that doesn't accept any immigration, China really needs to sort this out because their birth rate is just going to plummet. You can't have a society where the social expectations are that the man takes care of the parents. That's why so many Chinese families prefer to have a son to take care of them in old age. But, men also have to be the ones to purchase a property and pay a bride price, while women are free to piss away their money on handbags and beauty treatments.

9:17 · Since hypergamy is a real thing, do you see that the only way to structure your society so that that makes sense would be to pay men significantly more money than women so that their wages match the financial expectations that are placed upon them. Because, if you pay men and women the same amount of money, but women expect men to dig into their savings to finance all the major purchases, and they're only going to date men who are richer than them, then obviously this is not going to work.

9:49 · Now, let's hear what one man said on the street about his attitude toward older single women.

9:56 · I absolutely refuse leftover women over 30. This one's already 32. Why on earth would I marry her?

10:03 · A reporter asks, "But aren't you 35?

10:06 · She's 3 years younger than you, and I've seen that her job is very stable."

10:09 · Sorry, but who the cares if her job is stable? If none of her money is going to support him, then it's irrelevant. If she doesn't buy a property or invest in shares or something, if she just spends all her money on cosmetics, then what does it matter if she has a good income or not? It doesn't benefit him at all.

10:27 · The man replied, "I haven't been unfamiliar with leftover women in my life. Let me tell you, leftover women over 30 all share six common flaws." The reporter asked him to elaborate. The young man explained, First, having seen the world when they were young, they develop sky-high standards and feel that no one is good enough for them. Second, even though their looks have already started to decline, they still live in the glory of their youth, casually dismissing any man as ugly or unattractive.

10:58 · Third, their fertility is on the downturn, so having children in the future may be difficult. Fourth, their personalities are generally hard to get along with. If they were more amiable, someone would have already swept them off their feet. Fifth, it's not about love at all. It's all a transaction.

11:14 · They immediately start negotiating conditions with you, asking about your car, house, salary, and even whether your parents have a pension. It's all calculated. Sixth, if they once had a decent boyfriend, they use the standards they set for their ex when choosing the next one, insisting that the new guy must be even better.

11:33 · Get that guy a podcast. The way he just rattled off [laughter] those six reasons, no hesitation. I wonder if there's like Alexander Grace equivalent channels on Chinese social media that are educating men about this stuff, providing them with these like six bullet points. Or is this just so widespread in China that every man knows this? It's just entirely relatable.

11:55 · The reporter then commented that the young man's views were too absolute, saying, "So you think that all unmarried women over 30 have problems, but you're 35 and still single. Doesn't that suggest you might have problems, too?"

12:08 · The young man answered, "If I have problems, I dare to admit them, but would she dare to admit hers?"

12:13 · This is proof that feminism is just the cloak, the mask that women wear. The issue is deeper, the issue is entitlement, self-absorption, a lack of self-awareness. And these people in China, they're experiencing it in their culture, just like we are here. The difference seems to be that [laughter] their women aren't hiding it behind some fake social justice cause.

12:34 · A 35-year-old lady went on a blind date with a local Shanghai man, and after just two sentences, the guy walked out. The moment the woman met the man, she said, "Hi, just so you know, I have a bad temper, I'm very straightforward, and I'm not very good at housework. I expect the man to take care of that."

12:51 · The man didn't even give a proper self-introduction. He made up some excuse about having something to take care of and left. I was sitting there completely dumbfounded. Meanwhile, the woman started cursing, saying, "How could there be such petty men in the world?" I was truly at a loss for words.

13:05 · It's sort of terrifying how close beneath the surface for these women the objectification of men is. Right off the bat with these questions, just zero recognition of the fact that the man is a thinking, feeling human being. She's staring at him like he's a number on a balance sheet. It's so depressing sometimes as men to be interacting with these women, and all they see is a tool, just a device to be used and exploited for money and labor.

13:33 · Today, a couple came into our agency for a blind date. After they sat down, the man immediately asked the woman, "How much do you earn per month?" She said, "A bit over 8,000 yuan." The man then asked, "Have you bought a house?" She answered, "No." After hearing that, the man said, "Then let's not talk any further. I've got something to do. I just think we're not a good match, so let's not waste our time." Then the woman asked, "What exactly is wrong with us?" The man replied, "If you really want to know, I'll tell you. As soon as I walked in, I noticed your bag cost tens of thousands of yuan. Yet your salary is only about 8,000.

14:03 · The only possible explanations for you having a bag worth tens of thousands of yuan are these.

14:09 · Either someone gifted it to you, in which case, why would they give you such an expensive bag? Or you bought it on credit. Am I supposed to help you pay it off? Or third, the bag is fake. If you can't afford the real thing, then there's no need for you to buy one. But insisting on buying a fake just doesn't sit right with me."

14:26 · The young woman, clearly indignant, said, "Can't I just save up for a year or two and buy a bag I really like?" The man replied, "If you're scraping every month just to buy that bag, then we're even less compatible." And then the young woman almost burst into tears from anger.

14:39 · I get that she's pissed, but to be honest, this guy has just demonstrated a lot of the qualities that she would find attractive in a man. Strong deduction skills, he's obviously financially very sensible, which means that he'll be good at investing and saving for retirement.

14:55 · She's angry that he had an issue with the fact that she spent months and months of her salary on a handbag. But just think about that for a moment. If she was to marry a man who did not notice that, who didn't have a problem with it, who didn't mind the fact that she was so reckless and irresponsible with her spending, then the combination of his lack of discernment with her reckless spending would very quickly end them in financial ruin. She's completely doomed herself. Her choice to buy that bag quite literally means that there are no good options for her.

15:25 · Either the man's going to disqualify her because he sees that she's not intelligent, or he doesn't spot it, which means he's not intelligent, which means she's not going to find him attractive. She's going to stay single, but I mean it's all her fault.

15:37 · A study showed that women's average spending is more than twice that of men, and women are willing to spend big. So, to get women to willingly open their wallets, capital and the media start to court them, ultimately smothering them with praise. She elaborated on how this over-praising works. No matter how old a woman is, she's always addressed as miss, goddess, or fairy. Nowadays, even merchants have renamed Women's Day as Goddess Day.

16:03 · Hearing this, it really makes me wonder whether or not we give too much credit to feminism for all of this. Maybe it's mostly just consumerism and materialism and marketing and advertising. That probably plays just as big a role in women becoming the way that they've become in the West. It's just that feminism gives them an alibi.

16:21 · It constantly stressed that women must always maintain their looks, with beauty being the top priority. And even if a woman isn't naturally beautiful, businesses will say, "There are no ugly women, only lazy ones." Or, "You must take care of yourself. Dare to spend money on your appearance."

16:37 · As a result, women are driven to continuously purchase cosmetics and handbags, invest in 1,000 yuan yoga outfits for the gym, spend tens of thousands on Apple devices for taking and editing photos, and even go as far as to undergo surgery. Most women's salaries are only about 7 to 8,000 yuan, or even less. After deducting rent, utilities, and daily expenses, there isn't much left. So, what can they do?

17:03 · The capitalist mindset goes on to say that to judge whether a man loves you or not, you should see if he's willing to spend money on you. Men are supposed to earn money to support the family, while women are expected to be as beautiful as flowers.

17:16 · But the unbelievable thing is, some women really buy into it. Under toxic indoctrination, these women, even if they earn only a few thousand a month, still dismiss men who earn over 10,000. And if they do like a man, they demand that he take care of every little aspect of daily life.

17:32 · Look at this guy give the pedicure to his girlfriend. This is turning into one of the most depressing videos I've ever watched, because you sort of hope that the problems that we're experiencing here in the West are unique to us. That there are places on the planet where the culture is not so corrupted. And I understand that there will be more traditional societies out there, and that, you know, China probably comparatively is quite a materialistic society. But still, Western culture and Chinese culture are pretty different.

17:59 · And it's bumming me out to see that the women there basically have the identical attitude to women here.

18:06 · So they rather stay single than get married, just waiting for that rich guy to show up.

18:10 · Many women, when young, don't lack admirers. But when they are dating, they keep draining the man's patience. Eventually, all the men who are willing to truly commit leave. They're not left behind. They actively filter out all the men who could accept them.

18:26 · This male vlogger thinks that age is not the main issue. There are four main reasons. First, when women start dating, they always talk about emotional value. They test men by acting difficult, giving cold shoulders, blocking, or threatening to break up just to see if he loves her enough.

18:40 · That's what I'm talking about. This is so depressing. Chinese women are also giving their boyfriends nonsense tests. Where can we go on the globe to escape this nonsense?

18:50 · Men can tolerate some unreasonable behavior, but that makes for a very unstable relationship. Second, many women claim to be independent, but are actually financial parasites. They say they want independence, but spend all their salary and even go into debt while expecting men to pay for everything.

19:06 · They define independence as your money is my money, but my money is still my my Men want to avoid that kind of double-standard. Third, women change the meaning of what they want. They say they want attitude, not money. But, if a man really doesn't have a house or car, these women run away faster than anyone. This fake talk just makes men feel tricked.

19:25 · Fourth, women have unrealistic standards, but blame all men for not being good enough. For example, they earn 5,000 yuan a month, but want men who make a million a year. They have bad tempers, but expect men to be endlessly tolerant. They never reflect on themselves and think that good men are blind. This wrong thinking only makes them stay single longer and longer.

19:44 · Men don't dislike these women because of their age. Age can be forgiven, but no one wants to deal with a toxic personality.

19:50 · Okay, these women seem absolutely awful.

19:54 · I really hope I've got some Chinese guys watching my content, because I have a question for you. If you are a Chinese immigrant to a Western country, and you have an option to date a Western woman or a woman from China, who would you choose and why? Because listening to this, I'm honestly starting to feel like in the West, maybe we don't have it so bad. These women just seem like such pieces of work. Like, this is just awful, just next-level entitlement.

20:21 · There's another reason many young men in China don't want to marry. It's linked to a social cause, the Datong rape case in Shanxi province. After their engagement, they had sexual relations.

20:32 · Later, the woman changed her mind and reported the man for rape. The man showed proof of bride price and engagement agreement, saying they had a marriage contract and the act was consensual. He also provided chat records and surveillance videos showing the woman did not show signs of distress afterward.

20:46 · Great. So, in China, they've got false rape accusations as well. That's just great. There's just no escaping this At the engagement banquet, they signed a promise that after 1 year of marriage, her son would add the woman's name to the property deed. But, the day after they became intimate, the woman asked her to add her name early and then reported rape. On April 16th, the second trial was held publicly. The court upheld the verdict, sentencing the man, Mr. Shi, to 3 years in prison. The court offered probation, but Mr. Shi refused, insisting he was innocent.

21:18 · This case sparked huge discussion online. Many said, "Looks like a failed marriage scam and then a false rape claim." Others said, "Sue the woman for extortion. It's clearly a setup." Some asked, "When will men's legal rights be protected? Does the woman have connections? Many Damn. I mean, the Chinese manosphere or whatever the equivalent is, they seem to be on top of this. I really hope soon that we'll have like automatic dubbing and access to the Chinese social media sites. I think that would be so interesting. I want to chat to some of these guys. I want to hear about their experiences.

21:49 · You know, this could actually be what prevents World War III. We don't need to go into conflict with China. We just need to stop focusing on our differences and look at all the things we have in common. Like, "Brother, I'm not going to bomb you. We're both dealing with the same issues with our women. We understand and each other." This is the path to world peace. I'm sure of it.

22:08 · expressed fear about marriage, saying "No one dares to marry now. Courts convict men without solid evidence, protecting marriage scammers. Who would still want to get married?"

22:19 · April 16th was jokingly called No Marriage Day online because the second trial in the Datong engagement case upheld original verdict. Many people started mocking it, saying the robber didn't wear a mask, but a wedding dress instead. It's a scam using engagement as a cover and marriage as a money-making tool, what they call a honey trap.

22:40 · Normal people don't do this. The woman took the bride price, the engagement was set, and the ring was given. That means they were ready to live together.

22:49 · Who would send their fiance to jail over something like this? Men don't even dare to share a bed now, even after 30 years of marriage, because they are afraid. If courts keep convicting men like this, it'll open the floodgates for people with bad intentions. This is a clear way to get rich fast. Just come and grab the money.

23:07 · I got to say, these guys in China, they don't seem to be as pussified as the men in the West. They don't seem to have any problem just saying this stuff straight to women's faces. I wonder what the CCP thinks about this. Like, does their government have a plan to fix it? And whose side are they on?

23:22 · You know, there are so many different reasons why you might feel guilty. You might feel like it's a useful way of signaling to other people what tribe you belong to. Like, I feel guilty about this. Do you feel guilty about this?

23:34 · Okay, we have that in common. It can be a way of kind of virtue signaling. Like, "Oh, I'm such a a deep feeling, sensitive, compassionate person. I feel guilty for things that I haven't even done. Things that my ancestors did." And sometimes there are people who don't even feel guilty themselves, but they want other people to feel guilty because it makes them easier to control. Like, you've got that awful feeling of guiltiness over there, but I can offer you absolution if you just do what I say.

23:58 · When it comes to actually discovering your identity as a white person inside the West, you will have to grapple with the emotion of guilt because so many people have an agenda to do with that particular emotion. And if you're in your integrity, it's something you're honestly going to have to grapple with inside yourself. It's not easy. It's a journey I had to go through, but coming out the other side, I'm so glad I had the courage to do so. This is the sort of thing that I'm exploring in my series on identity. Episode 2 is available right now.

24:30 · If you'd like to watch it, you can just come over to my Patreon, sign up for a free 7-day trial, watch it right now. Or alternatively, if you don't want to leave the platform, you can sign up to a YouTube membership.